Katie's Story

To be perfectly honest, until I heard your teaching, I had no idea how to have a healthy relationship with a man. I dated boys who were just like my father—men who made a thousand promises and never kept a single one. I did what every broken girl does and fell in love with everyone. Even though I craved emotional connection and needed real love, I settled for what I could I get. That got me used up in ways that are too painful to think about. I had to hit an emotional rock-bottom so that I could then give control to God.

Last summer my grandfather baptized me, and I started going back to church. Though I was trying to make positive changes, a pain was still present inside of me. That summer I got back together with an ex-boyfriend, and everything fell apart again. I felt so hypocritical and dirty. Why did I keep falling back into unhealthy patterns? Every morning when I put on my makeup and really looked at myself in the mirror, all I could see was every mistake I had ever made. I no longer valued myself. I didn’t feel worthy of God’s love and certainly didn’t deserve it.
 
One afternoon Grandpa gave me your book Unmasked. I literally had to read it in 10 minute intervals because I was crying so hard. You nailed it, Pastor Jim, when you speak about the heart of a woman. It was there that I found the love and restoration I so badly needed in my life. I asked God to walk through every detail of my past with me—every hurt that was tearing me up. Interestingly, I wasn’t harboring hatred toward the men of my past, because I blamed myself for letting them into my life and allowing those things to happen. When I surrendered my past to God, something amazing happened. I could still see my past, but I could no longer feel the pain of it. God took my pain, restored me, and made me new again. For the first time, I saw myself through His eyes, and I loved what I saw.