Chloe's Story: Freedom

Freedom

By (Chloe)

I don’t even know where to begin to explain how the Lord used your message to bring healing in my life. When I attended your SexualityUnmasked conference, you began speaking about your daughters and how you filled their hearts every day with beautiful words. I began to cry, desperate to get to the end of the service so you could pray for me.

I have been a Christian since I was a child. I loved the Lord as my Daddy because I grew up without my earthly father. God had enabled me to forgive my father for not being there for me. At your conference you helped me understand that it was not completely my fault for falling into sexual immorality. I fell because I lacked attention from my earthly father and sought to have that need met in the arms of a man who never offered protection or commitment. That man happened to be a leader in our church, as I was. When we put an end to our relationship, I repented and asked God to forgive me and cleanse me. But no matter how many times I prayed for forgiveness, I felt shame, fear, pain, humiliation, and embarrassment follow me everywhere. I felt unworthy of serving Him.

I was desperate for God to set me free from all the things you were speaking about. As I went to the altar, I began to cry like a little girl. You spoke these beautiful words over me, “Jesus is not ashamed of you.”

Over and over again you said those golden words, and I remember sobbing as you prayed. I had felt shame for a long time, feeling that God could forgive everyone but me. I was a leader. How could I serve my Lord with dirty hands as if nothing had happened? But the message you brought from God brought healing to my soul. For a long time my prayer had been, “Lord, return to me the joy of Your salvation.” I can now say that He has answered that prayer. I feel a new beauty from heaven, a sense of great value, and a second chance at purity. 

I also felt great healing when you said that purity is more than the history of my body and that the Lord would restore purity in my heart. I had believed I would never feel pure again. You helped me understand that God can restore something I thought was lost forever. You also told me that a godly man would not run away when the time came to tell him about my past mistakes, for he would see a new purity in me. That was one of my biggest fears. I now have faith that God will bring a husband like that to me.